Søren AasBefore We Start Over
A devotional
can I come in I asked, knowing it was late
I'd like to meet your pussycat
I can't remember what she said to that, I was panicking
but I recollect keys in a lock, hall light turned on, the door closing behind
she bends her knee, bends down, away from me
she went on for ever
unclasping her ankle strap of the plush dark green dollar colored platform fashion party pumps
the left shoe topples over like a flopping fluffy rabbit
she stood like that facing away, a curious S curved slant to her
stop. I said it respectfully, stop and please face me
she freezes, hopes the threat won't notice her
I say her name softly
don't be nervous I only want to tell you something
something I want you to know
before my hand reaches her left Venus dimple
her systems come back online she begins to uncoil
my hand retreats before she turns around, now fully standing to face me
she giggles, don't make this cringe you weirdo
this thing I have to tell, I need you to know it, or maybe more honestly I need you to hear me out, because it is a feeling I got with you
right here, in your hallway, all those years ago
I implore you to find in your heart compassion to let me tell this thing from my side of our story
Giggle Girl became Curious Cobress
it was all the permission I would get from her, it would have to do
when we were lovers in the distance of time, when I used to visit you
you would admit me into your hallway, just like now
do you remember what our greeting ritual unfolded into?
a hug she replies, offering nothing, but not halting either
this hall way, I continue, was where I was allowed to worship at your feet.
we stood just like this, exactly at this point as the universe unfolded outside us
indeed we did hug, that was the first thing, an embrace
but it soon became you taking me into your arms and then letting gravity take me down
and I remember the descending down along your body
my knees just couldn't stop me
as I prostrated myself for you
the hall our chapel
cold tiles my only support
hands folded in worship
offering words of sacrifice and gratitude
for the grace of your presence
I never told you, maybe you even know
at your feet is the closest I have been to God
will you allow me that grace again?
she shifted
then consented