14^th February, 2024 • Søren Aas

Chapter V - Self-adjustment

What do is our next step, after discovering we can observe Reality with detachment, what does this newfound power afford us? We can start by examining ourselves, and if we do so honestly we will find we are made up, in part, of contradictions and darkness, our lower existence. Our task is to acknowledge and accept the Reality we observe and to reorient ourselves towards the higher existence we have glimpsed in meditation. We will find that only that can truly satisfy us.

As we explore ourselves calmly and in a detached manner, for many of us we will come to see that we are beset by modes of existence that we moderns would call egotism, and that further back in Western history would know as the Seven Deadly Sins. Navigating our material world using a what is in it form me approach as our compass, makes sense if striving for material betterment. But as we have experienced through meditation, contentment is only possible if we accept Reality as it is. If we always want more, we can not be content. It boils down to giving in to our lower self of what has been called sin, or choosing to focus our attention on what is.

Commentary

We have now walked some of the Mystics path, we have found an inner stillness, from where we can observe in a detached manner our lives unfolding. Our attention is able to focus on what we choose, sure it still strays, but we now can gently bring it back to what we want to focus on. Waves of thoughts and emotions wash upon us without dragging us out to sea. Our path now becomes to observe ourselves. Who are we really? Or as the ancients encourage us Know thyself. Ok, I am literally me, you may think, if anybody knows who I am it is I. Well, of course you are no stranger to yourself, yet observing who we are is hard to do. We all tend to mentally view ourselves in a positive light, because observing what we truly are is because the vision is strange and terrible. Most all of us have blind spots that cloud complete self-knowledge, because in the dark hides dark things that we until now have not wanted to confront, dark things that Jung termed the shadow. He contended that aspects of our personality that did not correspond with our idea of who we are, where relegated to our unconscious. Out of sight, out of mind so to speak.

To illustrate let us consider an example from popular culture, in this case from Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back. The sequence in question is when Luke Skywalker enters a dark and sinister cave on Dagobah. A cave his master Yoda warns him about not entering. After descending into darkness Luke eventually comes face to face with Darth Vader, instinctively Luke draws his light saber and decapitates his evil adversary. The sequence twist is that as Vader's head rolls to Luke's feet, the black helmet is broken and reveals Luke's own face.

For our purposes the incident in the cave could be interpreted as Luke seeing Darth Vader as only evil, yet it is Luke who strikes first, killing him, because that is what hero's do, they kill the bad guys. And make no mistake, Luke Skywalker knows he is firmly on the light side of the force. In so doing the violence Luke inflicts reveals that also he is capable of evil, he could also be a Darth Vader.

We could therefore argue that Luke's capacity for violence is something he has not admitted to himself, and his act of killing Vader makes him realize that he in fact is capable of the same deeds that he hates Vader for possessing. In other words Luke's action reveals that in his subconsciousness he has a capacity for killing that until now he was not consciously aware of.

Now thankfully we do not have to decapitate our fathers to learn of the things that dwell in our subconsciousness. We can also uncover them by observing ourselves.

Lets sit back and observe as we delve into our own sub-concious cave. Because lets be honest dear reader, our caves contain more than Dark Sith lords. Once we start exploring through Recollection, we observe disharmony, contradictions and generally a muddle of things. Yet as creatures of habit, we easily slip back from our observing consciousness to our normal ways of dealing with Reality in a superficial and unreal manner. So, how can we use our insights gained through Recollection, to change our behavior? Well, that is the second step that the mystics call Purgation, where we work at training our consciousness to participate in Reality.

While we have generally been accustomed to pursuing material gains, be it money, career, things or what-not. Our meditation leads us to realize that our spirit want simple experience of the Real. This leads to a conflict within and a realization that we are capable of a higher and lower existence. The higher reaching within for union with Reality whilst the lower keeps focusing our awareness on an unlimited number of details. To sum it up carelessly, we want less striving and more thriving.

The lower mode of existence does not satisfy us, we feel something is missing, that somehow we are not whole. This yearning is quenched when we have experienced Recollection briefly through our meditation practice, if only briefly. It is clear that a change must take place for our habit of lower existence, so comfortable and familiar, be replaced by a higher existence, that we have until now only glimpsed, but yet somehow always known. The higher calling, claims Underhill, requires us to select a one aspect of our lives and to devote ourselves to it. Her reasoning is by focusing ourselves we are able to simplify and to build our lives around a center. To lead a contemplative life, we must have courage to have faith in ourselves, discipline to focus on what we have chosen to achieve. This way of life asks of us to sacrifice what is not necessary, we must forgo and let go, in summary we must accept an ascetic life, for it is the only enduring foundation of a sane contemplative life.

Let us unpack this some more. Underhill is saying that through Recollection we have experienced another way of being. If we want to pursue this way of being there are two things we must do, these she calls Detachment and Mortification. Firstly, Detachment is literally detaching from material things, they do not own us and we can let them come and go, also we must be aware of what is a nice to have and what is a must have. Secondly Mortification entails identifying our inner conflicts and resolving them by letting go or finding ways to harmonize. What we are trying to cultivate is an attitude of disinterested adoration, not gimme gimme I want it all now entitlement.

Let us return again to what we are trying to change about our lower mode of existence, our egotism. We all know what an egotist is like, someone who is always thinking of themselves and putting their needs and wants first. Of course there are many reasons this can work out in given situations, but not if we want to experience a union with Reality. An interesting meditation to do is to consider what makes up egotism. Probably we will come up with ideas of entitlement, resentment, jealousy and greed. From this, it is only a small step to connect that egotism aligns rather nicely with the seven deadly sins.

Allowing ourselves to be guided by our lower self will blind us to Reality. If our awareness is limited just to ourselves and our self interest we can never see or feel things as they are, but only how they affect ourselves. To be able to evaluate the sum of good and evil, we must be able to see things as they truly are, and that means observing with detachment. But why is looking out for ourselves so misguided, in material terms perhaps this can even be beneficial? To be searching implies something is being sought. The search is not over until what was lost is found. Egotism's trap is us believing we can satisfy our ego. That if we get enough we will be content. What we do not realize is that to have enough means being content with what we have. Let that sink in.

If instead we realize that it is from our inner stillness, where we observe Reality with detachment, it becomes clear that we are not the center of the universe, instead we are part of a whole. We can focus just on ourselves, but from our newfound vantage point, we now see that as wrong. Why not enjoy the ride and try to be of service where we can? It is what we realize is right, if we care to look. Why try to find what can't be found? By force of will we can decide to redirect them from egotism, and in so doing sever our attachment to the material. We instead can choose to pour our energy, intellect and heart into what we have come to realize is Reality.

Final thoughts

A choice is presented us where we are able to choose two paths, we can continue focusing on our material mode of living, where we are will forever be running and striving for more. Or, we may choose to work on ourselves and through self-adjustment gradually live our lives in a way that feels meaningful.